Please Pray for me.

by Mike
(Minnesota.)

Well, I am currently a Freshman in College at U of M - Duluth. And here is my story.

When I was a junior in highschool I was dating a girl. Now this girl and I, we sought God's will if we should date. See, we were best friends for about 2 years before that and we understood what dating can potentially do to friendships. Once we both felt it was in God's will for us to come together in a relationship, we began dating.

After some months though we became more physical, and I take the blame on that because I knew better but for some reason did not stop it. Near the end of our relationship we started to try to be pure but we continued to fall sometimes, but other times our relationship was amazing. I thought it was important to seek out what love in God's eyes really is. And one night i was in the middle of the time that I devoted to being with God and I got what I have come to know as a prophetic word to me about the relationship. He "told me" (it was not audible) but it was deep in me that one day I would be married to her. Now after this came to me, I broke down and wept because this is not what I thought. I did not know what to do. I sought out guidance from leaders in my church and one of them had been in the same situation as I. It was not like I made up what I felt God telling me. After many weeks of seeking guidance, I decided to tell her what God breathed in me. And she did not take it well. Since God did not tell her what he told me, she panicked and within about a month we were broken up. I did not know what to do. I could not make her be with me and I resented God.

To this day, I have not doubted what God told me that day. I have spent the last few years trying to convince myself that I have moved on but I still feel that word was true. But I would love to move on, but I can't. Sad thing is, she is dating a guy now and she wont even talk to me. I have tried to be in a relationship and In the end, I was not over this girl.

I have no idea where to go from here and from what I can see, this girl has moved on and I'm not even involved in her life anymore. Sad thing is that when i write down everything that I could ever want as qualities in a girl, it is exactly her.

I have wept to God many nights and He doesnt say anything to me. I dont feel Him in my life, but i cling to my faith in Him because He is all i have. I have lost all my friends, except a few and it just doesnt make any sense. I know people tell me that Gods plan doesnt make sense to me but it is perfect. but then why would He tell me what He did.

He seems to not answer when i call.

Please pray for me,
Mike. .........