I'm sorry, I know this is long.

by Sally
(Rizal)

Hello. I hope you would take time to read my story and help me pray for it.

On June I will be a third year college student and I, in accordance with my family's decision, plan on enrolling to another university---which is one of the best in our country. I have always wanted to be a student of that university, so I've been praying for it since I was in elementary. Sadly, I did not qualify for the branch of that university which is near our house. I was to be transferred to the branch where I cannot choose my course. (Because that branch mainly focuses on Science which is not really my forte.) So I was enrolled to another university, the third/top three university in the country, and the best university in our country that offers Architecture. I loved the school, it was one of the high-end universities in our country and the people there are awesome and I enjoyed myself too much, losing track of my studies, as well as my relationship with God. I felt like there was nothing to worry about, so I stopped asking God for help and the worst part is that I never even thanked him for blessing me so much. Then I had problems with my grades and I failed one subject during the first semester, which led me to depression. I stopped going to school ever since, and my parents didn't know about it. My second sem grades dropped big time and I got debarred from the Architecture department. I did not have enough time to shift to another course though I wanted to, just to be able to stay in that university. I was transferred to another school for my second year college. I continued Architecture for my parents, but deep inside I was traumatized. I didn't attend classes, etc. And I didn't like the school because I felt like I was meant for so much better. I was being selfish all the time.
My parents in ignorant bliss, I cancelled my enrollment in that school for the second sem and told them about it later on. So now I am just staying at home, doing nothing productive. I never thought I would turn into this, and I feel very sorry for my parents who trusted me.
Now my brother is in his third year high school and he will soon be a college student as well. He is better than me at studies but he always looks up to me. He already has plans for whichever university he would attend on college, but unfortunately it would be impossible for our family to support both of us financially. Especially with the money I have wasted during my two years in college. Our father even plans on sending him to a faraway school, just so he could take scholarship there. Our father decides his course for him, the course we wouldn't have to spend too much money on. All of these only makes my brother frustrated and even I have high hopes for him. I don't want his chance to be wasted. Shifting and transferring our even taking a break from school is already big deal in our family, especially since I have Asian parents (yes, we're Asian) but I have always wanted to decide on my own. But when I did that, it brought me here.
So I ask for your help to pray with me for guidance, strength and wisdom. I will be taking another shot on my dream university (and the university offers very little amount for enrollment to full scholarship) and despite my bad grades, the office said I could still take the interview. Interviews have always been my weakness so I am begging you to help me pray for wisdom and strength and may this event in my life help me bring myself close to God again. And my brother will also be able to go the university he wants. The course I will be taking is not really my favorite choice but I do hope that God would help me excel in it. Thank you very much for reading and may God bless you.
Oh Lord please guide us always.